When to stop questioning?

It’s a strange question to ask maybe, but is there ever a time to stop asking questions?

I’ve often heard the statements such as “There is no such thing as a stupid question” or “Always ask why” and so many other pieces of advice around asking questions.

We are incentivised to challenge the status quão and not take anything at face value in order to unlock the real underlying need, problem or opportunity.

Research practices have also shown how asking the right questions in the right way unlock richer insights and knowledge about users/customers.

Asking questions has become the standard, but I would say that in our quest for questioning, we’ve lost sight of the reason why we started asking questions in the first place.

I see a lot of questioning for the sake of questioning and in a recent interaction of a group of people, I asked myself two simple questions:

1. Is there such a thing as a stupid question?
2. How do we know when to stop questioning?

I want to share my general thoughts on each of these questions because observing many group interactions in recent years as an neutral party, I have some thoughts.

Is there such a thing as a stupid question?

The simple answer? Yes, there is such a thing as a stupid question.

Don’t get me wrong, I myself incentivise people to ask every question that comes to mind because often many people in the group have the same issue, but feel embarrassed to ask the question and potentially be seen as ignorant.

Those willing to ask those questions should be cherished and supported.

However, there are also those who ask questions without having paid attention to what is being discussed or the context/audience in the group. It is definitely possible that someone ask a question that leaves everyone wondering if there is a hidden camera somewhere, because it could only be a joke… right?

These situations are awkward for everyone and they tend to be a disrespectful for everyone else in the room who has been paying attention or has done the pre-read that was asked.

I can accept that someone may not have understood what was discussed or the document shared, but I’m talking about those cases where the person understands and they just couldn’t be bothered to dedicate the time and attention.

Two very simples rules:

1. Be present — Pay attention while in the session. See what questions are asked and see where you can clear something up, but in a logical way. The way you ask a question can give others a very clear notion of whether you didn’t understand or just aren’t paying attention.
2. Do the homework — Make an effort to do the pre-read or build some context beforehand. If you really don’t have the time, at least be honest and admit you weren’t able to and apologise for asking the question. Don’t approach it with the arrogance of “You must answer my questions!”

Make a little effort at least. You owe it to others.

How do we know when to stop questioning?

Again, anyone paying attention to the dynamics of the room/conversation should generally get a sense of when to stop questioning, but I also understand that not everyone is good at identifying those social cues.

Many people have developed the habit of asking the question “What if…?” of every point and going into the black whole of hedge cases.

Guess what, chances are you’re not going to reach a conclusion anytime soon and I can almost guarantee you will spend many more hours and sessions around the topic to potentially never close the topic.

There is definitely a time where we have to stop asking questions and start getting some answers. Anyone who is well versed in experimentation and lean principles is a great person to get you over this bump.

I’ve found that putting the wrong questions or examples in front of real people is a hundred times more valuable than having another session of 20 people trying to answer the questions based on assumptions and biases.

Again, two simple rules:

1. Be objective — It’s easy to ask yourself the simple question “Can I/we answer this question?”. If the answer is no, define a away to answer it. If the answer is Kind of than the answer is actually no, go back to the previous sentence. Sitting in a room asking 500 questions will not help you answer the questions.
2. Go back to the basics — Why are you asking these question and why do you need to answer them. Are those hedge cases even really important or are you just trying to cover every single, possible base? Almost definitely it’s the latter and you’ve lost sight of why you’re there in the first place.

The way I see it, we can and do spend too much time on the wrong questions or questions that will bring no value to anyone when answered.

Is it cultural, a fear of missing anything important or just a need to feel important by showing that we’re thinking more than everyone in the room? I’m not sure. I’m guessing it’s all three, depending on the person and the situation.

But we need to be conscious of other’s time and effort. I’ve seen many question asked that seem nonsensical… I’m sure I’ve asked nonsensical questions and I can see it in everyone else’s facial expressions.

I’m definitely going to try and do better and I ask is that others do the same.

Let’s be more objective and focus our time where it makes sense. We already have so much going on.

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Originally published at https://hugofroes.substack.com.